


darling, I've been thinking of you

by dontbitethesun



Series: if it's true love [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Episode Related, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-28
Updated: 2011-11-28
Packaged: 2017-10-26 15:41:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/284983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontbitethesun/pseuds/dontbitethesun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean just isn't buying it. Coda for 7.02.</p>
            </blockquote>





	darling, I've been thinking of you

**Author's Note:**

> Contains spoilers for 7.02.

The night after they lose Cas to the Leviathan, Dean dreams about him. Not the kind of lucid dream where Cas is actually there, speaking to him, but the hazy, malleable kind where one scene morphs into another and Dean can't control his actions, the kind that Dean thinks is real even after he wakes up - right up until he sees Cas' coat draped over a chair near his bed, a tiny puddle of water pooling beneath it on the floor.

The dream starts out with the two of them sitting on Bobby's couch, watching Star Wars together - something he'd always wanted to do, but never gotten around to. Dean's hand rests lightly on Cas' knee. Cas doesn't understand the Ewoks or why there's gravity when they're supposed to be in space, but he does like the lightsabers. They bicker for a moment about whether or not a lightsaber could kill an angel, and between one sentence and the next,

They're standing on a beach, pale white sand stretching empty in both directions as far as the eye can see. Cas is, for once, wearing something other than his suit and trench coat in a white button down and khaki shorts. He says something about ammonites and bends down to pick up a shell, his back to Dean.

 _Ammo-whatsits?_ Dean mouths, before pushing Cas into the surf. Cas topples into the water and turns to glare up at Dean, his hair and its effortless bedhead going flat over his forehead, water running in rivulets down his nose. His expression promises Dean suffering and death and smiting - definitely smiting - but all Dean can do is laugh and laugh.

He stops laughing when Cas' cool hand touches his cheek and his vision goes dark, but of course it's not Cas doing anything - he hasn't been scared of Cas and what he can do for a long, long time - it's that they're suddenly standing at the side of the road in the desert, the sky full of stars, Dean's car idling inches away from his side.

Dean keeps his eyes open when Cas leans in to kiss him, even as big black wings wrap around him, blocking out the stars.

When he wakes up - and remembers - he spends twenty minutes staring up at the celling, not thinking anything at all. Then he gets up and goes downstairs. Sam's still conked out on the sofa, Bobby's running a search at the kitchen table. He goes out to the garage to check on his baby, even though she's practically mint again now and there's not much left for him to do at all, and feels Bobby's eyes drilling into his back.

So what if his brother's a mess and his angel best friend betrayed him and is now maybe, possibly sort of dead? Dean doesn't want to talk about it.

The thing is - one of the things, at least. There are many things, many feelings, Dean has about Cas and Cas being gone - Dean is too angry to be sad. Not after Cas had been working with the devil and then went on his little killing spree as God, not to mention the fact that he hadn't listened to Dean when he'd told him it was too dangerous, and that right there might be the worst part - whatever, he's still pissed off.

He'd like to say that since he is still this angry at him, Cas cannot possibly be gone. He needs to come back and own up to Dean's anger and what he's done, but Dean is way too realistic to believe that. Dean has unfinished business with just about everyone he's ever known - mostly because they've died.

Except Cas - well, Dean just isn't buying it that Cas is actually dead. He'd exploded yet again, but how many times had he come back already from _that_ so far? And then there was that whole thing about redeeming himself. Dean thinks that if Cas was really dying, if he knew those were going to be his last words, he would have said something else. What, exactly, Dean can't say for sure. He can hope - but he's absolutely sure Cas wouldn't be making any promises he couldn't keep.

He sighs and flips open his phone. When he dials Cas' number, the line goes straight to voice mail. Dean's pretty sure that Cas' actual phone is probably at the bottom of the municipal waters or wherever it is that Cas left it last. He has a feeling Cas will hear him anyway and, unlike Sam, he'd always felt kind of stupid yelling up at the sky to get Cas' attention.

"Hey, you asshole," Dean says, "don't think for a second that I actually believe you're dead. You're probably holed up somewhere, licking your wounds, and that's fine, I get it, but Cas, you made me a promise. You're going to redeem yourself to me, remember? So get your ass back down here and help clean up the mess you made, or else I'm going to have to come find you, and it won't be pretty.

"Also," he adds after a significant pause, "I miss you.

"You're still a dick, but come back soon, okay?"


End file.
